Who I am
by mannd1068
Summary: An immortal tries to explain who she is.


Who I am

Mannd

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my 8 year old Saturn and two cats. I definitely don't own Highlander nor the idea behind it. Please enjoy.

Since the beginning of time we have hunted each other, seeking to destroy and gain a power that few of us want or need. We have always done this and we will continue to kill until only one of us remains. Legend has it that the one who does remain will receive all the knowledge in the world. Those who know of our existence think that we are monsters, inhumane beast with no feelings and no loyalties to anyone but ourselves. That is not true. We love, we hurt, we laugh, and cry and do all the things that other creatures of this world do. We try to keep our war private, making sure that no man sees us, fighting and killing.

The oldest among us is Methos. He was part of the 4 horsemen and he was death, but 5000 is a long time to be heartless and sometime during the first 1000 years Methos discovered his heart. Cassandra, she was captured by Methos, killed by Methos and ultimately betrayed by him, but she gave him the one thing that he had forgotten, the ability to show compassion to those around him. He left the four horsemen.

Me, I am only 2500 years old. My first death occurred when I was 21, and my loving husband after seven years of trying discovered I couldn't have children. He brought this matter before the village elders and before I knew it I was being charged with adultery and being led out of the village and stoned. When I came alive again, frightened confused, I discovered that it was he who had been committing adultery and that he now had a very pregnant wife by his side. His death was my first kill, I couldn't bring myself to kill the woman, she was young barely 15 to his 45, but I took what was mine and left the small village, trying to figure out who or what I was.

I met my first master a year after my death. He had no compassion as he ruthlessly taught me the rules of our race and how to fight, how to survive. He left me after a year, but it was during that time I learned about the "prize" that we were to seek. My second master tried to own me, mind, and body, but I refused to be bought and after learning all that he could teach me, I left him seeking new exploits. I had three other masters since then, each teaching me a different type of skill and fighting style. My last master was a Japanese sword smith and he taught me the art of sword making. My greatest master was the first Youkai I ever met. He was a Kitsune Youkai. He taught me how to disguise myself, how to disappear, how to turn invisible in a crowded room, but he couldn't teach me how to protect my heart from his love. Love from a fox is a fluid thing, and when he grew bored, he cast me off, not that I bear him ill will, for I still love him and I wish him well.

I don't want to do this any more. I want to be free from this weight of responsibly just because I had the luck to be born into this life. I just want to be free to live my life without fear, without constantly having to look over my shoulder, and without having to make sure that my sword is sharp. I am tired and I am old.

We live unseen in the shadows, hoping no one gets a glimpse into our cursed life. We desperately seek out friends, lovers, anything to make our lives worth living, but we dread the time as we watch those we love grow old and die, leaving us behind, lonely once again. Each time, we vow to ourselves that this one will be our last, but then a smile and a laugh and we have fallen all over again.

This is the curse of my life, the secret that I continue to hide from those around me. If you knew the truth, would you still embrace me as a friend or would you spurn me as a freak of nature. Would you turn me into to those who exploit this power of ours or would you hide me and protect me? Can I get close to you or will you turn me away just like those in the past? I am reaching out my hand will you take it?

A/N I wrote this a while ago, while I was going through a rough time with family health issues. Found it and decided what the heck, no one really has to like it 'cept me.

Comments are welcome.


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